Lore Deepdive: What does the future hold? Is Professional Ballet realistic or a dream deffered?

 What do you want to do with your life? Oh, I'm going to be a ballet dancer? Or maybe a track runner? Ooh or a cardiac surgeon? Or maybe an adolescent psychiatrist? What happens to a dream deferred? What happens when that dream is maybe not your dream anymore? Ballet has always been that dream. That push and pull, the delicate balance of tranquility and strength, control and freedom, perfection and beauty. I’ve probably watched every ballet movie ever and have idolized the lives of ballet dancers for years so when i now have the opportunity to go after that dream what now is holding me back? Is it just the uncertainty of it all or is that a cop out? Realistically life is uncertain so why does the uncertainty of a ballet career scare me? It’s scary because of ballet’s delicate balance. It is hard to love an artform that doesn't love you back. Some days all i want to do is be in the studio, other days the thought of doing ballet makes me unhappy. If I really want a ballet career I know things will have to change and change fast, I’ll need to have better arches, technique, be skinnier, have better turnout, extensions, and mental toughness for long studio days and criticism from ballet masters. For so long I couldn’t even tell you my favorite color because of how much I loved ballet, i would just answer the question with “ballet pink” because I didn’t know who I was without ballet. At one point I even told my mom I'd rather die than not be able to dance because I had to miss one ballet class. When ballet’s in the picture nothing mattered because it’s ballet it’s perfect right? But after taking a year off unwillingly it forced me to find out who I am outside of ballet. I tried all these random sports in hopes of them providing the same rush ballet did, joined speech and debate amongst other clubs just searching for the high of ballet so why am I not jumping at this opportunity? Well for one I’m a person that hates change and thought of uprooting my whole life in the middle of my junior year of high school terrified me. No friends, new environment, and 5 hours of ballet during school. I didn’t know how to feel. Suddenly it was everything I ever wanted and more but in the back of my head there will always be a what if? And maybe that's in part due to ballet. There's a quote from a ballet documentary  called silver feet that I really resonate with and it reads “you're in class and you have your friends there but it seems strange because they want the same things you do and one day its gonna come down to the matter of whos gonna get them and maybe there's not gonna be enough room for you and it hurts to think abt bc the relationship isn't destroyed but how can you be friends with someone who wants the same thing you do in life” “and maybe there's not enough room for you” That quote struck me. The uncertainty of the ballet world is truly off the charts and it is one of the most competitive industries I know of, if not the most competitive. It is an industry where talent is simply never enough because if you don't “look like a ballet dancer” your chances of becoming successful and being professional in the ballet world are very slim. So maybe it was me knowing or feeling like may be a better word because there is truly no way of knowing what my professional career would hold but it makes you wonder. Don’t worry dolls there are many more fun writes about ballet but needing to lock back into my school work and finish my junior paper. Ily cuties xoxo